yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
