Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Sober January is a disaster.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
