There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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