Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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