I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
