I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
