If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I am naked and annoyed.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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