They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
