why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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