best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize