you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize