Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
