Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
