here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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