You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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