my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
