I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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