these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
