Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Are we still banned from the library?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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