do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
