you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
