508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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