It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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