Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
