dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
