Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
