it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize