Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
