Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
