sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
