my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
