WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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