weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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