I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
