Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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