is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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