hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
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I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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