Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
