This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
