its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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