I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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