I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The ass gains better be worth it
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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