...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
