Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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