You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
