were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
