I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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