I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
