I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
