You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
