I'm gonna have a badass scar
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize