How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize