my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
