i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
