Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
