just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
