I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
