sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
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She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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