just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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