his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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