just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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