well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
