Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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