did you get engaged???
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
