I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
