Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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