would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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