Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
