Well apparently he's into motor boating.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
