Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
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She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize